So I don’t know about you but last week was a really rubbish week. Thought I would share how a bad week can turn into something happy by just changing your view.
When I went self employed I thought things would improve. No more crappy bosses, bitchy co-workers etc. What I failed to realise was it is so much harder than being employed… Income is NEVER secure and could disappear as quickly as it comes, you are still working for someone (sometimes lovely and sometime vindictive and spiteful), and motivation dimishes pretty quickly when you have been knocked down. I had the stuffing knocked out of me last week when I lost a client and had a major issue with my mentor, and I’m not going to lie, it has taken me a few days to reframe it and get back on the right track.
Here are some things I have found that have helped me sort through and see how to start going forward again.
- Making a pros and cons list
Yup, I’m talking traditional, yellow legal pad, line down the middle splitting the page into Pros and Cons. I went old school on this one. I needed to go back to why I wanted to start a business and what the benefits are and the struggles. Can the pros outweight the cons now that I have been self employed for a few months? Is this the right move for me or do I go back to looking for regular full time work?
I gotta tell you, this is a classic for a reason. When you sit down and really be honest with yourself, I mean brutally honest, you get somewhere. Some of the things on the list were hard to come to terms with but they needed to be there because I needed to be honest with myself.
2. Have a chat with a friend who knows you better than you know yourself
When things weren’t looking good and all I was doing was spiralling into a dark place, I called my friend Michaela, or Skat as I call her (Skat is Afrikaans for friend). She always has such an amazing knack of reframing her view of something and sorting herself out. She doesn’t let anything get her down or let anyone control her reactions to things. Sometimes I need her to tell me that what happened sucked but what good is feeling sorry for myself, it’s not going to make me any money and it sure as hell isn’t going to make me feel better.
Our friends and family can be an amazing asset that keeps us on the righ path. Michaela tells it to me straight and doesn’t sugar coat it. It can be easier to get that from friends than it is from family because I don’t do so well when my family do the tough love thing. I always feel better after a chat with her however brief they sometimes are.
3. Go and spend some time with special people in your life
I cannot tell you how this can change your whole life perspective. After 1 afternoon with very special people, your mood and outlook can change drastically.
On Saturday I was invited to have tea with my Aunt and Uncle not too far from where I live. I was so thrilled because I haven’t seen them in over a year and video calls just aren’t the same. My uncle told me that my cousin and his wife will be there for tea, who I haven’t been able to spend anytime with for what feels like ions, as well with their 2month old baby Evie. If you know anything about me, you will know how excited I was. I love babies and even more when they are apart of my family!!! And I was going to be meeting my new cousin for the first time in person. I was over the moon.
Seeing my family and having short little cuddles with my gorgeous baby cousin was the absolute highlight of my year so far. Being able to have contact with the people I love made me change my outlook on that week.
4. Get out into the sunshine
Hopefully the weather is on your side during times like these, because getting out into the sunshine and have that beautiful warmth on your face has a profound effect on your mood. Have you ever noticed when you are out and about and it’s sunny, everyone is in such a fabulous mood? This is because sunlight exposure is thought to increase the brain’s release of a hormone called serotonin. Serotonin is associated with elevated mood and a sense of calm and focus. So if it’s possible, get out into the sunshine as often as you can and you will feel the difference it makes to your mood.
5. Learn from the situation you find yourself in
This is as straight forward as it’s title. Learning from the issues we face helps us to avoid them in the future or helps us deal with them differently if they come up again. I am going to learn from the mistakes I have made and try to avoid having to go through the same thing again.
Do you have any further tips for finding the good in rough times?? I’d love to hear what you think of my techniques and what you can offer as well 🙂
Until next time…